a realization
i had somewhat of an epiphany while i was grinding out my first session today. i was running terrible, as i have for my last 2000 games, and i realized, i’m just gonna keep running bad until someday it just stops. i know that might not sound like an epiphany to most of you, but what it made me realize is that i’m playing optimally and the results are just going to fall where they may and there’s just not much i can do about it. i think a large part of my recent frustration was because i felt like i was doing something wrong and just couldn’t figure out what it was. i mean, i know i have some small leaks, but nothing that would really cause me to break even over this many games. it’s just variance and hopefully over the next 2000 games it will turn around for me a little bit. in the mean time, i’m not going to get upset any more. it’s dumb to be upset over things you can’t control. well, that’s not totally true, but in this case, it is.
i came across a really interesting article about the act of yawning a couple days ago. it suggests that yawning reduces stress and can bring you into a heightened state of cognitive awareness. here’s a link: http://www.upenn.edu/gazette/1109/expert.html
from now on my response to a bad beat will be to yawn 
and as long as i’m throwing links around willy nilly, here is a link to the pandora station i like to listen to while i’m playing: The Beatles Radio. i’ll probably put this in the sidebar along with a couple other stations i have in the near future.
that’s all for now.
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